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Friday, September 21, 2012

can't believe it's already been a year...

i just wanted to take a second and share a story...time FLIES, and it just goes to show how much can change in one year...

i met this amazing man through a great friend of mine whose debt i will forever be in...he set logan and me up, and we had our first date one year ago today...i can honestly say what happened after that was the most stressful, trying time i've ever been through, but i'm so grateful and blessed to be with a person who is infinitely more patient, understanding, and wise than i...
backstory real quick (for those interested): i had been writing a missionary for over a year before being introduced to logan...no, to answer your question, i wasn't "waiting" for him (in the stereotypical i'm-not-dating-anyone-else-until-he-gets-home way)...did i write him an email every week? yes. did i want to pursue things when he got home? yes. but did i sit around and waste away and avoid every other guy for that time? absolutely not. i dated, i hung out, but i just didn't really find anyone that i connected with--until september 21st and he was due home in less than 3 months...

at first, i thought logan and i were just going to be friends who probably ended up doing the "we need to hang out!" "yeah for sure..call me!" thing, then when he found out i was writing a missionary, he would be gone like every other guy...but then we started talking more, started going out more, and i started to fall for him. hard. and fast.. and i knew that he needed to know about this missionary, i just didn't know when or how to tell him. so i stressed and worried and gave myself a deadline to tell him about it...unfortunately, he didn't find out exactly the way i wanted him to (from me), which was probably better because i would've been a tear-filled, blubbering mess..i was honestly expecting him to be so angry at me for not telling him for so long that he would never talk to me again.  but, instead, he was completely understanding of my situation...he never even hinted that he was vaguely upset about it..he'd let me cry on his shoulder when i didn't know how to handle things, he would listen to me say the same things over and over again, and we'd talk for hours on end about all the different aspects of the situation...it probably killed him to hear me talk about another guy, but he never once complained, never got mad at me, and never said, "i don't want to talk about this anymore"..
when the missionary did arrive home, logan made it clear that he wanted me to spend time with the other guy, but  that he would be available any time i wanted to see him..i was selfish and wanted to be able to see both of them, and for whatever reason, he let me...in retrospect, i understand why he did what he did--he wanted there to be no lingering doubts, no matter what happened--and there are and were none..that just proves him to be so much smarter and less selfish than me..

ultimately, the time came when i realized i no longer had feelings for the missionary...he just came back a different person, and we didn't connect on even a friendship level...he had assumed that i wasn't dating anybody while he was gone, and wasn't very understanding. i  didn't think that was fair of him, so we got in a lot of arguments..every time i was with him, i found myself always wanting to be with logan, so we ended things. as always logan was there for me...he gave some time to let the smoke clear, and then we started dating officially...

looking back, i can't even describe my relief and happiness at my decision. i can honestly say that i've never had a second's regret or remorse for having ended things with the missionary. i have never been with a person who makes me so eager to get off work every night just so i can see him...he has made me and continues to make me happier than any other person on earth, and understands me better than even i do...i know that he would go to the ends of the earth to make me happy. he is the most patient person i know, and i'm really not just saying that. i am the most complicated mess of a person, especially in a relationship, and he never questions or judges, he's just patient and caring and supportive every single day.  he always has a new perspective that never fails to be more compassionate than my own..we have legitimately never been in a fight, and i think it's because he is always the one to put the blame on himself, when both of us know it's usually my fault..he makes me smile when i'm in moods where i want to do nothing but cry.  when i'm stressed out and frazzled, he's the only one who knows how to talk me down..he knows every single vice and fault of mine, and every mistake i've made, but has never uttered one word of judgement or condescension. i always have fun with him, no matter what we're doing--just hanging out and being lazy, or driving up the mountain to go scout for elk.  i don't know how i managed to end up with such an amazing, kind, loving person, but i love him more than anything and couldn't possibly ask for more...

happy one year, log, and here's to a LOT more :)

Sunday, September 2, 2012

the best parts of my summer..

well, true to my tendency of slacking with blog updates, here we go...now that it has been raining for about 3 days straight, i take that as summer being officially over (especially because i'm back in school now, so i don't get to be outside at all). i have this inner struggle where i love summer and all the activities that comes with it, but i hate sweating.  so i think i enjoy fall just as much, sans the sweat and sunburn.  i won't bore you with all the details of my adult, grown-up responsibilities..here are the best parts of my summer--


trips up the canyon full of gorgeous sunsets scouting for elk. hunting happens to be a foreign concept for me, but i don't mind being in such beautiful surroundings with my favorite person :)

 finding things like horny toads, which are oddly adorable...
 being on off-roading rides that look like these....

plenty of archery practice (also for his hunt)...i think from now on i'll just call him Robin Hood. i don't know how he has the patience to sit in a tree for a week at a time waiting to shoot an elk...but then again, he's always been far more patient than me...
 while he was up in a tree and i was paranoid that he was going to get eaten by some carnivorous animal, i got to spend a much-needed weekend with my best friend. i'm not talking my "best friend that i only kind of get along with"..i mean, we live over 150 miles away, and still manage to buy the EXACT SAME article of clothing without even knowing it. it's crazy, but doesn't surprise either of us at all. we hear all the time that we look/act like twins. i'm convinced we had some crazy separated-at-birth experience, because we're generally on the same wavelength about everything. she's the best though, and i couldn't approve more of the guy she married--they're perfect for each other, and i loved hanging out with them. unfortunately, contrary to our M.O., there were no pictures taken..


seriously, i see this person way too infrequently...luckily, she's coming to provo for her birthday (as unfortunate as THAT is), and there will be too many cupcakes to count :)

this summer also allowed me to get in touch with my inner cowgirl...i'm pretty sure that has always been suppressed, because i love everything country--music, outdoors, horses, even the pink cowboy boots (as referenced in an earlier post). logan is closet country, and doesn't like to be the stereotypical cowboy. but he humored me, and went all-out for a night:) i'm going to be completely cheesy for a second..i don't know how i got lucky enough to date this guy, but i couldn't be more happy..he's THE sweetest, kindest, most patient and hard-working person i know, and always surprises me with how much more mature and intelligent he is..i don't think he knows this, but i've wrangled him into the most lopsided relationship there is. love him :)



















our summer concluded with family time, 5 year reunions (him, not me...i don't like to age prematurely), working as much as ever, and getting ready for school..









i also made the leap and decided to work on becoming a certified personal trainer...it's something that i've wanted to do for a long time, but hadn't really had the time for. there are a couple other things after this one, but...baby steps :)








last but not least, i had time to hang out with some of the cutest girls i know...i got to play mommy for a couple days while my sister and her husband painted their new condo..these girls are the cutest, and are joined by brand-new baby libby and another girl cousin this winter. i can't wait!