can't believe it's already been a year...

i just wanted to take a second and share a story...time FLIES, and it just goes to show how much can change in one year...

i met this amazing man through a great friend of mine whose debt i will forever be in...he set logan and me up, and we had our first date one year ago today...i can honestly say what happened after that was the most stressful, trying time i've ever been through, but i'm so grateful and blessed to be with a person who is infinitely more patient, understanding, and wise than i...
backstory real quick (for those interested): i had been writing a missionary for over a year before being introduced to logan...no, to answer your question, i wasn't "waiting" for him (in the stereotypical i'm-not-dating-anyone-else-until-he-gets-home way)...did i write him an email every week? yes. did i want to pursue things when he got home? yes. but did i sit around and waste away and avoid every other guy for that time? absolutely not. i dated, i hung out, but i just didn't really find anyone that i connected with--until september 21st and he was due home in less than 3 months...

at first, i thought logan and i were just going to be friends who probably ended up doing the "we need to hang out!" "yeah for sure..call me!" thing, then when he found out i was writing a missionary, he would be gone like every other guy...but then we started talking more, started going out more, and i started to fall for him. hard. and fast.. and i knew that he needed to know about this missionary, i just didn't know when or how to tell him. so i stressed and worried and gave myself a deadline to tell him about it...unfortunately, he didn't find out exactly the way i wanted him to (from me), which was probably better because i would've been a tear-filled, blubbering mess..i was honestly expecting him to be so angry at me for not telling him for so long that he would never talk to me again.  but, instead, he was completely understanding of my situation...he never even hinted that he was vaguely upset about it..he'd let me cry on his shoulder when i didn't know how to handle things, he would listen to me say the same things over and over again, and we'd talk for hours on end about all the different aspects of the situation...it probably killed him to hear me talk about another guy, but he never once complained, never got mad at me, and never said, "i don't want to talk about this anymore"..
when the missionary did arrive home, logan made it clear that he wanted me to spend time with the other guy, but  that he would be available any time i wanted to see him..i was selfish and wanted to be able to see both of them, and for whatever reason, he let me...in retrospect, i understand why he did what he did--he wanted there to be no lingering doubts, no matter what happened--and there are and were none..that just proves him to be so much smarter and less selfish than me..

ultimately, the time came when i realized i no longer had feelings for the missionary...he just came back a different person, and we didn't connect on even a friendship level...he had assumed that i wasn't dating anybody while he was gone, and wasn't very understanding. i  didn't think that was fair of him, so we got in a lot of arguments..every time i was with him, i found myself always wanting to be with logan, so we ended things. as always logan was there for me...he gave some time to let the smoke clear, and then we started dating officially...

looking back, i can't even describe my relief and happiness at my decision. i can honestly say that i've never had a second's regret or remorse for having ended things with the missionary. i have never been with a person who makes me so eager to get off work every night just so i can see him...he has made me and continues to make me happier than any other person on earth, and understands me better than even i do...i know that he would go to the ends of the earth to make me happy. he is the most patient person i know, and i'm really not just saying that. i am the most complicated mess of a person, especially in a relationship, and he never questions or judges, he's just patient and caring and supportive every single day.  he always has a new perspective that never fails to be more compassionate than my own..we have legitimately never been in a fight, and i think it's because he is always the one to put the blame on himself, when both of us know it's usually my fault..he makes me smile when i'm in moods where i want to do nothing but cry.  when i'm stressed out and frazzled, he's the only one who knows how to talk me down..he knows every single vice and fault of mine, and every mistake i've made, but has never uttered one word of judgement or condescension. i always have fun with him, no matter what we're doing--just hanging out and being lazy, or driving up the mountain to go scout for elk.  i don't know how i managed to end up with such an amazing, kind, loving person, but i love him more than anything and couldn't possibly ask for more...

happy one year, log, and here's to a LOT more :)

the best parts of my summer..

well, true to my tendency of slacking with blog updates, here we go...now that it has been raining for about 3 days straight, i take that as summer being officially over (especially because i'm back in school now, so i don't get to be outside at all). i have this inner struggle where i love summer and all the activities that comes with it, but i hate sweating.  so i think i enjoy fall just as much, sans the sweat and sunburn.  i won't bore you with all the details of my adult, grown-up responsibilities..here are the best parts of my summer--

trips up the canyon full of gorgeous sunsets scouting for elk. hunting happens to be a foreign concept for me, but i don't mind being in such beautiful surroundings with my favorite person :)

 

 finding things like horny toads, which are oddly adorable...

 being on off-roading rides that look like these....

plenty of archery practice (also for his hunt)...i think from now on i'll just call him Robin Hood. i don't know how he has the patience to sit in a tree for a week at a time waiting to shoot an elk...but then again, he's always been far more patient than me...

 while he was up in a tree and i was paranoid that he was going to get eaten by some carnivorous animal, i got to spend a much-needed weekend with my best friend. i'm not talking my "best friend that i only kind of get along with"..i mean, we live over 150 miles away, and still manage to buy the EXACT SAME article of clothing without even knowing it. it's crazy, but doesn't surprise either of us at all. we hear all the time that we look/act like twins. i'm convinced we had some crazy separated-at-birth experience, because we're generally on the same wavelength about everything. she's the best though, and i couldn't approve more of the guy she married--they're perfect for each other, and i loved hanging out with them. unfortunately, contrary to our M.O., there were no pictures taken..

seriously, i see this person way too infrequently...luckily, she's coming to provo for her birthday (as unfortunate as THAT is), and there will be too many cupcakes to count :)

this summer also allowed me to get in touch with my inner cowgirl...i'm pretty sure that has always been suppressed, because i love everything country--music, outdoors, horses, even the pink cowboy boots (as referenced in an earlier post). logan is closet country, and doesn't like to be the stereotypical cowboy. but he humored me, and went all-out for a night:) i'm going to be completely cheesy for a second..i don't know how i got lucky enough to date this guy, but i couldn't be more happy..he's THE sweetest, kindest, most patient and hard-working person i know, and always surprises me with how much more mature and intelligent he is..i don't think he knows this, but i've wrangled him into the most lopsided relationship there is. love him :)

our summer concluded with family time, 5 year reunions (him, not me...i don't like to age prematurely), working as much as ever, and getting ready for school..

i also made the leap and decided to work on becoming a certified personal trainer...it's something that i've wanted to do for a long time, but hadn't really had the time for. there are a couple other things after this one, but...baby steps :)








last but not least, i had time to hang out with some of the cutest girls i know...i got to play mommy for a couple days while my sister and her husband painted their new condo..these girls are the cutest, and are joined by brand-new baby libby and another girl cousin this winter. i can't wait!

the slightly anticlimatic unveiling...

because there are SO many people who are anxiously waiting to see what my living room now looks like, here you go...there are still some improvements i'm planning on making, but for now, i'm satisfied that it looks slightly decent as opposed to horrific...

next up, my bedroom...

home improvement, part one...

  you may be wondering why any college student would take on the task of painting/renovating their apartment during the summer. well, let me explain to you why, because the reason is simple: my apartment looked like THIS (see pictures above^^).

i'm pretty sure it had basically been ignored since 1970, which is both sad and upsetting. i chose to live here mostly out of desperation (i didn't have time to look for other apartments), so i guess it's my fault. it also gave me a reason to unleash my OCD interior design side.  i had always wanted to go into interior design, but sadly, BYU doesn't have the program. i had tolerated the state of my apartment for about a year, when all of a sudden one day i decided to ask my landlord if he would mind if i painted a little bit.  his response, and i quote, "This sounds perfect!  Please just subtract the supplies from your rent and send the receipts.  Keep it conservative so future tenants don’t hate things, but I trust your judgment." which to me read, "go for it". so i went out and bought all the supplies--paint, rollers, etc. but i couldn't bring myself to paint over disgusting, dirty walls.. 

so, true to my M.O., i got home from work one evening and couldn't stand it anymore. cleaning is my stress relief. it started in the bathroom, which was by far the worst part of the apartment.  i tore it apart--almost literally. i'm talking ripping caulk out of the shower, tearing up tiles, etc.  logan came over after he got off, and upon walking in the bathroom, immediately said, "we should paint today too." he's such a good sport, and a total stud for helping my crazy project ADD. so while i painted, he re-caulked everything.  our bathroom went from this:

to THIS:

after the bathroom came the living room...i cleaned EVERYTHING, rearranged the furniture, and then went to work painting.  i had always wanted to do tan with a red accent wall, and my dream finally came true...stay tuned for the unveiling! :)

soap.box.

since this is my blog, i'm going to go ahead and assume that it's safe for me to vent for a minute..if you don't want to deal with my venting, i suggest you stop readin. like NOW.

if you're still reading, then here we go. i'm so over people telling me that i don't take things seriously.  let's be clear here for a second.  i take just about everything i do seriously--school, my job, myself, life in general, and my relationship.  i get really annoyed when people feel the need to lecture me about how i need to be more grounded, serious, etc--especially when those people don't know me well enough to be hurling such accusations at me. i get lectured on a regular basis at work. AT WORK. and this person, who happens to be a coworker, is telling me that i don't take work seriously enough? maybe it's because i have said person talking my ear off for over an hour and a half. maybe it's because i feel like work should be the one place where i'm not criticized for my life choices. sure, i'm not perfect. but i also don't pretend like i am. yes, i know i have issues, vices, and hangups, but who doesn't? have i made mistakes? of COURSE. but i have a problem when people feel the need to be my parents. i have those already, and they give infinitely better advice than a stranger. i legitimately think the only reason this person has ANY reason to feel validated in giving me any kind of advice is because he is over a decade older than me. that is the only qualification he posses. not being more intelligent, experienced in life/relationships, or anything like that. and seeing as he doesn't know me quite as well as he seems to think, i feel like most of his advice is unfounded.  i think the only piece of advice that wasn't complete quackery was, "work on yourself". that is IT. the other hour and twenty five minutes i plan to ignore. why? because it was COMPLETELY OFF BASE. yes, i'm aware that i'm shouting a lot in this post, but i'm irritated. i feel like in the past 72 hours i've been lectured by far too many people who don't seem to realize that i'm 22 years old, not 15. believe it or not, i CAN make an educated, informed decision for myself, thank you very much. i appreciate suggestions and advice, but only when solicited. if i don't ask you for your opinion, that's a pretty good indication that i don't want to hear it.

i will leave you with one quote, and this will be one rant post i allow myself.
"Who are you to judge the life I live? I know I'm not perfect and I don't live to be, but before you start pointing fingers, make sure your hands are clean." ~Bob Marley


ok, so that's my diatribe for the day. dont hate me for it..or do, but don't lecture me about it.

get up and run..

 on saturday, i ran a 5k...against my better judgement AND the advice of my physical therapist...well, let's just say it wasn't exactly my fastest or most comfortable race..but, it was for a good cause, and i got to run at least one mile with my sister (until she totally smoked me). it was a good day for a run though, and it's always great to have two of the cutest cheerleaders on earth at the finish line for you...

to continue on my active streak, logan convinced me to go to the gym with him last night, and THEN go hike the Y after...even though i complained the whole way up, it was definitely worth it:)

 i was rewarded with ice cream, so everything is all right in the world now..

comings and goings..

last week was a pretty busy one...the day after logan's birthday, we left for boulder mountain with his dad, sister, and half sister. admittedly, i was a little bit nervous, because the most "camping" that i've really done has either been in a cabin at girl's camp, or in a tent in my back yard growing up.  and, let's be honest, neither option is exactly roughing it...so we took off, with trailer and dogs in tow, for southern utah...logan's whole family goes down to camp in the same spot every memorial day weekend...it's a beautiful spot up in the mountains in a clearing with pine trees surrounding it...the first night was FREEZING. i'm talking snowflake cold, people..but having a trailer was nice, and we made dinner and went to bed early..the next day was a little windy, but driving down the mountain for about a half hour to the lake brought both warmer weather, and some great places for hiking...

when we got back, there was a huge bonfire going, so freezing cold was no problem...we spent a lot of time hiking, logan took me shooting (probably against his better judgement)...let's just say i'm no annie oakley..i did somehow manage to shoot down a baby tree...

he's definitely a lot better than i am....even with a scope, i struggle to hit the broad side of ANYTHING. this was the tree that we were shooting at...we both had 10 bullets, and i'm guessing there's probably only 11 bullet holes..

we also went on a few dirtbike rides..logan's either a very brave soul, or completely insane, because he let me actually drive his dirtbike...it's been about five years since i drove one, so let's just say popping a wheelie in the first 30 seconds after giving it too much gas didn't exactly inspire confidence in my driving abilities...i pulled it together though and did better...

and now i'm bent on owning one of these...i've always wanted a bullet bike, but i think this is slightly more realistic...

and, of course, the best part of camping is the campfire dinners/smore's...and logan's family does campfires in STYLE.

we had just enough time before we left for one more hike, and...fishing, of course...i managed to catch a fish, even though all i did was reel it in (logan's dad cast and set up the pole for me)..i'm a hopeless outdoors person, despite my love of it..

and, of course, before we left, we HAD to carve our names in a tree (bucket list, check!)..he did this more to humor me, i'm sure...he's such a good sport.